Dems Should Do The Sensible Thing And
Nominate A Moderate Rapacious Psychopath
By Caitlin Johnstone
Editor’s note: In order to circumvent
internet censorship, today’s Caitlin
Johnstone essay has been replaced with an
op-ed by Snooty McCentrist of the National
News Conglomerate. NNC: Obey.
February 17, 2020 "Information
Clearing House" - After Bernie Sanders failed to impress in his
underwhelming consecutive victories in Iowa and New
Hampshire, it’s time for his far-far-left extremist
base to grow up and face reality: there’s no way he
can beat Trump. Especially with people like me
churning out all these op-eds every day to make sure
that he can’t.
Face it, Democrats: Sanders is no frontrunner. As
the always rational adult in the room Chris Matthews
recently pointed out, if you compare his New
Hampshire votes to the combined vote total of
moderate candidates Pete Buttigieg, Joe Biden and
Amy Klobuchar, he’s actually trailing far behind.
Sanders clocked in at a paltry 26 percent of total
votes, while the triune electoral threegernaut
Klobdenbutt amassed a whopping 53 percent. Now, you
don’t have to be Andrew Yang to figure out that 53
is more than 26.
That’s not my opinion. That’s math.
Wow this is bad news for Bernie Sanders when he runs against three people at once in the general. pic.twitter.com/t5mxnMPLwu
If you can’t take it from me, take it from the
cold, hard numbers: if Democrats want to beat Trump,
they need to nominate a centrist. Someone who
rejects the extremes of Bernie’s far left and
Trump’s far right and instead espouses sensible,
middle-of-the-road values like endless war and
military expansionism, rapacious ecocide, corrupt
plutocracy, crushing domestic austerity measures,
new cold war nuclear escalations, continued
deregulation of sociopathic financial and commercial
institutions, police militarization, unprecedented
levels of imprisonment, Orwellian surveillance
programs, internet censorship, and ever-mounting
authoritarianism.
You know, the moderate position.
Are You Tired Of
The Lies And
Non-Stop Propaganda?
Because think about it, Bernie Bros: if you
resist the DNC’s attempt to elevate a sensible
candidate like Mike Bloomberg to your party’s
nomination just because you don’t want a racist
Republican billionaire oligarch authoritarian with
dozens of allegations of sexual misconduct against
women to be your president, then you’re stuck with
Donald Trump.
Chew on that prospect for a minute.
Given that the progressive wing managed to get about 35% while the moderates totaled more than 52 percent, it is clear that the majority of the party is not eager to enter a political suicide pact with a self-described socialist promising a revolution. https://t.co/mFwi4If36G
You need to be more realistic, Bernie bros. How
can Bernie possibly win when we’re doing everything
we can to prevent him from winning? We’re telling
you he’s not electable, and no one would know better
than us: we’re the ones making sure he stays that
way.
Seriously, stop being such insolent little shits.
I’m here presenting very forceful arguments using a
confident and assertive tone in a high-profile news
outlet, and you’re meant to obey. This is an op-ed.
I have a professional headshot photo next to my
name. That means you think what I tell you to think.
What exactly do you unwashed riff raff think
democracy even is, anyway? Some kind of
ponies-and-unicorns fantasy land where people get to
just have the candidate they want to have, just
because that’s what most of them want? That kind of
pie-in-the-sky dreaming is for people who don’t have
the entire billionaire media engine pointed at
sabotaging them at every turn.
But if you give us a Mike Bloomberg, for example,
we’ll just let him sail right on through. Hell, if
we can get two right-wing billionaires staging a
made-for-TV kayfabe spat over the presidency from
July to November we’ll never stop amping that shit.
Holy God, imagine the ratings!
Stop living in a childish fantasy world where the
environment is real and war is something you need to
think about and people shouldn’t die if they don’t
have the correct imaginary numbers in their bank
account. Let the realists whose entire worldview is
built around made-up narratives and a make-believe
economy tell you what to do.
Do as we say. Just do it. Just bend over and let
us install a nice moderate psychopath, and this will
be over before you know it. Relax, take a deep
breath, and think nice, pleasant thoughts until
November. Dream one of those wacky dreams you airy
fairy hippies are always having, like having a real
healthcare system or something.
Anyway, I’m going to send this off to my editor.
The next fifty op-eds I write will be
garment-rending outrage over the comments this one
receives on Twitter.
In accordance
with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, this material
is distributed without profit to those who have
expressed a prior interest in receiving the
included information for research and educational
purposes. Information Clearing House has no
affiliation whatsoever with the originator of
this article nor is Information ClearingHouse
endorsed or sponsored by the originator.)
